To identify emotional and behavioral loops you repeat unconsciously, and begin designing conscious replacements that align with your true self.
Think about one area of life where you feel stuck or on autopilot—work, relationships, emotions, motivation, etc.
Fill out the pattern loop for that area.
| Step | Description |
|---|---|
| Trigger | What sets this pattern off? (e.g., being criticized, feeling ignored) |
| Response | What do you immediately do or feel? (e.g., withdraw, snap, overcompensate) |
| Reward | What relief does this give you temporarily? (e.g., control, comfort, attention) |
| Cost | What long-term damage does this pattern cause? (e.g., burnout, guilt, lost trust) |
List your 3 most frequently repeated patterns:
| Pattern | When It Happens | Emotional Payoff | Life Cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| e.g., People-pleasing | When I fear rejection | Approval | Self-betrayal |
Reflect and write your answers in 1–2 sentences each:
What’s one pattern I keep repeating even though I know it doesn’t serve me? Why do I keep it alive?
→ “I always…” or “I never…”
What story do I tell myself that justifies staying in this loop?
→ “This is just who I am…”
Where did I first learn this pattern? Who modeled it for me?
What would my life look like without this pattern? Who would I be without it?